I wish I was more intelligent as perhaps then I would not forget, but I can only play the hand I was dealt. I view “understanding” as a transition from a mental state “a” to “b”, as with any transition, you have a multitude of paths each associated with a different cost to it, some even taking you nowhere. How far you go aka your payoff is also not a linear function of your effort and time. The curse is that “b” exists in time dimension as well, so even if you reach it, once you cannot stay there at 0 cost. All you do get is familiarity with the path.
The misfortune of information today is that a lot of it can be butchered by the aversion to “radical novelties” that plagues Djikstra. “Understanding” is a perception, a way to look at things that is acquired with mastery but a good guide can teach you that perception at the first try, so much that it only feels natural to see it that way ( which isn’t wrong because a wrong perception also feels that way until you realise ). In fact, with enough time, one even learns this way of perceiving without the need of a guide. The model is really simple, for most techincal topics at least; you must start at the foundations and must not forsake any of the complexity associated with it. “Oh, but that’s not needed” and “Oh, that’s more complex” are fatal mistakes. Worse yet is the avoidance of mathematics and notations associated with it, the fear of rigorousness. “Good enough” which is the invention of modern education, built simply so that everyone feels included and the masses know just enough to be useful is an enemy of “understanding”. In fact, it’s the worst because not only is it more inefficient but also robs you of the artistic satisfaction and effortlessness associated with “understanding”. It’s human to understand.
With that said, I declare that it is simply not for everyone. Most people are content but I’m not most people. The dulling down of technical matter so as to avoid going into the specifics and cater to a larger dumb audience is a plague ( which is why I support gatekeeping, the more people you bring the lower the quality goes ), leading to what you have now, which is an almost infinite amount of useless low quality information that is so popular that it’s dangerous. I yearn for a world where it’s openly accepted to call out something as only meant for people above 130 IQ, and where it’s not a detriment since you won’t be the popular guy among the masses and miss out on the opportunities it can bring.
In any case, having forsaken the world, I write here solely for myself, and pray that even in my delusions, may the audience consist of noone but multitudes of me and me only. I do not know and there’s no shame in it, but if I do not learn then that’s a disgrace, and if I do not learn correctly then that’s a betrayal. My noble aim is to simply put those said “x” hours and distill that understanding in writing, for this is my way of “path compression”.